deepundergroundpoetry.com

I Noticed

I liked our moments together,
�just to vanish when she arrives.
�You dont think of me as much as i do you.
You're still heartbroken from her leaving.
I can see it, your eyes twinkle once she is near.
You call her beautiful,
you dont even realize �it.
I know how much �you love her,
I feel small in a giant world when she is around you.
I feel guilt, betrayal, anger, sadness, jealousy and my regular perkiness when she is around.
I haven't done anything wrong,
but i still feel guilt since i always ushered her how cute you two were.
Anger for her to just STOP liking you out of nowhere.
Angry seeing how much you are affected.
Sadness for your delirious actions, still not believing you two parted.
Jealousy courses through my veins when you ask me yourself who i think is beautiful.
I already know your answer.

She and i were never close, but we were friends in some way.
I know she isn't a bad person at all,
so i feel hate towards myself for feeling this way towards her and him.
But i cant stop these feelings flowing through me,
No matter how hard i try.
in the beginning i could feel it starting to overcome me, i knew not to give in.
I was tired of pushing it away though, so i did give in.
Now this feeling towards him circulates my every thought, dream, action.
No matter where i may be; at the dinner table, in class, watching tv, with family, riding my bike,
wishing for a longboard to be with you.

You've replaced my original love easily, this frenzy overpowering all of me.
The guy i have liked too much for too long. 3 years and i just gave it up, for you to replace him.
I told myself in the beginnning not to do anything as foolish as this, but i had to give it up.
To get over him, to realize i was never going to go anywhere.

Now just to love you, and to know you never stopped loving her.
To have the usual instinct and want to help you,
but this time it's different.
Not wanting to help your old relationship for ours to thrive.
But to help you and her, since knowing no wrong was ever done, and you do love her.
More than you could ever love me,

So what do I do?