I Don't Miss You

Its been long enough  
that I dont miss you anymore  
that's what I tell myself anyway
 
I do what I want now
but it feels selfish  
like I'm leaving you out
like I'm supposed to ask if you'd like to join me somehow
 
it feels like I've shed a skin I didn't really  
want to be rid of
I catch myself looking for your input on my silent  
conversations
your reassurance
 
but it isn't there
you aren't there
 
I try to pretend you never existed  
but you are written in everything  
accumulated over the years
 
I try to act tough  
and drown out the thoughts
but it's hard
 
you've knocked down all the walls  
I had protecting me
 
I can't say I don't miss the misery  
because making up was the best part
 
your excitement your mystery  
how you touched when you missed me
your annoying smack while eating peanut butter
 
I don't miss you