To All my Fuk Boys and Charles

I am not low value.
That is the truth

And yet they treat me
As tho I'm an addendum
The questions are dull
Their goal just to pull
To lull
To fuck
To lie.

And Charles...he listens hard
His laughter lightens
The air...his words
Send me.  He loves words
And beauty
And Mark Twain
The places he find his
Wisdom and comedy.
Maybe I love the parts of him.

I would let him touch me
Let his hands scour the dark places
I would be eager to loosen
The crust of his unspoken mistrust
and aching loneliness  

But I can't
And I won't
This life is short
and so obscenely dark....
My light is dimming
Swift as the setting of the sun

He'll see I'm nothing
But a farce
A gas bubble
Who's in monetary trouble
Sad, unsure and alone.

My little light
receding at night
Because I lull
And I fuck
And I lie
Like all my useless fuk boys