Gonna Be Me Till The End

I'm a part of a community on Reddit called twinflames. People downvoted the post I made about being disabled in my abusive mother's home and how I'm scared my twin flame, Josh may choose someone for the shallow, superficial reasons- a girl who makes him look good on paper.

The rage is flooding, erupting like the biggest volcano. It reminds me of the people who blamed me for not leaving my mom's home as if I have a better option. Group homes and independent living would suck!!!! They act like being spoiled and getting the resources I need here is bad.

Unlike others, I believe in taking things personally to some degree. To feel what you're actually feeling and not detract from it.

As I might have not have said before, I rather be the bitch who tells the relentless truth than be the girl who is pleasing and accommodating and is well liked.

I rather be that Katniss Everdeen bitch who is a warrior against the corrupt government and systems that keep us all down.

I dare to be me till the very end.

Because I'm in extreme survival mode, I cannot afford to be anyone but me.

Anyone doesn't like it? They can go take a hike and get the hell away from me.

I'm the bitch with murderous rage, but I live and let live. Leave me alone and don't provoke me, and you're good. And even if you do, I'm the manipulative mastermind.

I know how to stay the victim and not the perpetrator in this world full of narcissists. By setting boundaries, unapologetically ghosting people, and by ignoring most of the population. Speak when spoken to, but maintaining my distance from most normies and hanging out with my crew, the cool, mentally ill loners. Remaining open to love, but with a catch.

I'm gonna be me and keep healing. And if I cannot be me in your presence, I will quietly remove myself.

As a person with murderous rage, I can't afford to put myself last anymore.

I hope there's no afterlife because I swear if I ever saw anyone again (Like Kaitlyn who told me "I nor anyone else has the emotionally capacity to deal with your extended issues" or Josh or anyone from my past), I would scream and forever run away from the biggest source of my pain.

Being seen as that monster who doesn't deserve her story...

No, bitch, I'm fighting for it, and I'm offended I even have to fight for it in a way no one else will ever have to.