deepundergroundpoetry.com
Cold
There are barren worlds where no joy dares to exist.
A mental planet with a void for sun, the light is listless.
Eternal winter snowed upon the corroded cartilage
in my bones.
A carcass of happiness lies shivering on broken stones.
Blood.
Runs.
Ice.
Cold.
To say I'm dead would be so bold.
Pink fire grazes the horizon behind the evergreens.
Somehow a fuschia twilight is magically seen.
This electric mauve light vanishes into the belly of the night.
Blood.
Runs.
Ice.
Cold.
To say I'm dead would be so bold.
A mental planet with a void for sun, the light is listless.
Eternal winter snowed upon the corroded cartilage
in my bones.
A carcass of happiness lies shivering on broken stones.
Blood.
Runs.
Ice.
Cold.
To say I'm dead would be so bold.
Pink fire grazes the horizon behind the evergreens.
Somehow a fuschia twilight is magically seen.
This electric mauve light vanishes into the belly of the night.
Blood.
Runs.
Ice.
Cold.
To say I'm dead would be so bold.
Author's Note
This was an ancient draft I decided to finish.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 7
comments 16
reads 97
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Re. Cold
22nd Jan 2025 00:29am
Happy to hear you finished this "ancient" draft. A marvelous write. Perfect for the conditions most of us are facing right now in the US.
0
Re: Re. Cold
22nd Jan 2025 00:40am
Yes it could be a reflection of our torrential world. I'm glad you enjoyed.
Thank you 🖤
Thank you 🖤
Re. Cold
22nd Jan 2025 2:05am
This is an excellent work.
I like the repeating lines, and I ordinarily don't, but here they reinforce the doldrum sense that midwinter so often gives us.
Well done!
I like the repeating lines, and I ordinarily don't, but here they reinforce the doldrum sense that midwinter so often gives us.
Well done!
0
Re: Re. Cold
22nd Jan 2025 3:31am
I didn't think of it like that, but you are right it does give that feeling .
I like seeing it through fresh eyes
Thanks so much for the comment, I hold you in high regard
I like seeing it through fresh eyes
Thanks so much for the comment, I hold you in high regard
Re. Cold
22nd Jan 2025 3:13am
Beautifully penned, Debbie. Into the list it belongs. Your finished write was superb, my friend. Appreciate you.
Damian
Damian
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Re: Re. Cold
22nd Jan 2025 3:32am
I tried something different. Makes me so happy you liked it.
Thank you and I appreciate you as a friend so much.
Thank you and I appreciate you as a friend so much.
Re. Cold
22nd Jan 2025 3:55am
Re: Re. Cold
22nd Jan 2025 4:01am
Aww. You made my night. I think you are truly gifted so it means so much to me,
your comment.
Goodnight 🌙 ⭐
your comment.
Goodnight 🌙 ⭐
Re. Cold
Dear D,
I enjoyed the percussive rhythm in this write. The stark beauty is captivating. There’s a mystery to the cold of winter that summer feels the complete antithesis for me. I very much enjoyed this piece. H🌷
I enjoyed the percussive rhythm in this write. The stark beauty is captivating. There’s a mystery to the cold of winter that summer feels the complete antithesis for me. I very much enjoyed this piece. H🌷
0
Re: Re. Cold
22nd Jan 2025 12:10pm
Re. Cold
22nd Jan 2025 11:50am
Happy you finished this gem. It's stunning.
Love the lay-out and the image pairs beautifully 🤍
Love the lay-out and the image pairs beautifully 🤍
0
Re: Re. Cold
22nd Jan 2025 12:11pm
Re: Re. Cold
23rd Jan 2025 4:32pm
Re. Cold
23rd Jan 2025 5:39pm
Re: Re. Cold
23rd Jan 2025 6:21pm