deepundergroundpoetry.com
Sex and Savagery (Working Title)
Our bodies are a battleground
And this sex is a war.
Don't make love, make hate to me
Until I can't take it anymore.
Fuck the soul out of me,
Make me a used and empty shell,
Leave me raw and writhing,
Cast my body back to hell.
Nightmares of your fingertips,
Nailpolish of dripping blood,
Throw the dirt into my eyes,
Tears and sweat making mud.
Fire in your eyes,
Your teeth upon my skin,
Show me what they mean
When they say original sin.
Crush my manhood with your flower,
Choke the life from my desire,
If I said I didn't like this
You'd surely know me for a liar.
And this sex is a war.
Don't make love, make hate to me
Until I can't take it anymore.
Fuck the soul out of me,
Make me a used and empty shell,
Leave me raw and writhing,
Cast my body back to hell.
Nightmares of your fingertips,
Nailpolish of dripping blood,
Throw the dirt into my eyes,
Tears and sweat making mud.
Fire in your eyes,
Your teeth upon my skin,
Show me what they mean
When they say original sin.
Crush my manhood with your flower,
Choke the life from my desire,
If I said I didn't like this
You'd surely know me for a liar.
Published Yesterday
| Edited Today
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likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 3
reads 110
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Yesterday 4:12pm
Holy fuck that’s hot.
This line… I’m a language whore and I get literally throw-shit-across-the-room excited when I see images in new ways.
A Croc almost hit my cat when I read this line
“Nightmares of your fingertips, nailpolish of dripping blood,“
I love a good battlefuck poem.
You asked for honest critique so can I make a form suggestion? The way the poem reads on a screen detracts a little from your meter, I’d suggest you break lines down in the stanzas.
The poem is fine, just might make it visually flow
Nightmares of your fingertips,
nail polish of dripping blood,
Throw the dirt into my eyes,
tears and sweat making mud.
Kickass piece man.
This line… I’m a language whore and I get literally throw-shit-across-the-room excited when I see images in new ways.
A Croc almost hit my cat when I read this line
“Nightmares of your fingertips, nailpolish of dripping blood,“
I love a good battlefuck poem.
You asked for honest critique so can I make a form suggestion? The way the poem reads on a screen detracts a little from your meter, I’d suggest you break lines down in the stanzas.
The poem is fine, just might make it visually flow
Nightmares of your fingertips,
nail polish of dripping blood,
Throw the dirt into my eyes,
tears and sweat making mud.
Kickass piece man.
Yesterday 4:46pm
I'm all tingley now from your comment haha. I'll make the structural changes. Thank you so much
Today 1:34am
Very savage! A way to become one with another - biting pieces of each other's flesh and the mixing of blood from a sex war.
I beg him to give me a bloody nose, so I can excite him by dripping blood on his balls as I suck way too hard. His handprints burn on my ass. I need them photographed to see for myself as I clean and feast upon his flesh from under my fingernails. He cuffs me to our bed with a gallon jug of water only to return when I have wet and soiled myself. He then pisses on me mixing our body fluids. He removes my clothes and smears my waste upward stopping at my chin. A fierce stench. I open my mouth and beg for his cum. "Please Uncle Lou!"
I beg him to give me a bloody nose, so I can excite him by dripping blood on his balls as I suck way too hard. His handprints burn on my ass. I need them photographed to see for myself as I clean and feast upon his flesh from under my fingernails. He cuffs me to our bed with a gallon jug of water only to return when I have wet and soiled myself. He then pisses on me mixing our body fluids. He removes my clothes and smears my waste upward stopping at my chin. A fierce stench. I open my mouth and beg for his cum. "Please Uncle Lou!"
