Cheeky!

I don't like bums!
They kind of put me off
Small, medium, or large
It doesn't matter
Bum, arse, bottom
Shakespeare chose Bottom, over Bum!
Neither names offer any inspiration poetically
Thankfully, the French do bums with poetic finesse
Derriere!
Which sounds much more civilised than other options
Whereas, backside doesn't make sense
Backside: 'on the back, but to the side?
Which would require, a completely new rethink
On the design of toilets!
Also, keeping things on this nonsensical level
How come when toasting someone, or thing
The words 'bottoms up!'
Surely this should be 'bottoms down!'
As one tends to lean backwards to drink anything
Certainly not sticking ones bottom up!
Bottoms down sounds less cheeky!
And anyway
Bottoms, bums, arses, and derrieres
Are not at the bottom, our feet are!
Are we going to resort to calling our feet bottoms?
Probably not, but just a thought
Glad i didn't mention farts............oops!

by Jemia