All my entire life 🤔

It's funny when I think about it knowone I've ever been with, gave me what I've been getting from you. 🤔 But it's not to say that me myself and I didn't realize that, I had it then like I know now. FOR sure it was my fault I messed it up the amazing relationships then, for I didn't know that I had it then like I know now in my life. For let me be the first to say I am to blame cause back then, I've been hurt and lied and cheated on, by the very someones who I thought I could trust. YET that became a lie in so many ways, that my own heart became as cold as ice, with no feelings or emotions and no connection into the deepness of my own heart ❤️ That I became blindsided to not to really understand fully that, I was my worst enemy and I need to make a decision to change my own way of thinking.
 🤔 FOR the betterment of my own life in search, of what love really is truly from the deepness, of the heart and soul and mind. For the elders say that I had to look at myself in the mirror, 🪞 and have a conversation with myself and be able to be honest with thyself.  If I really want to change and turn my own life around, for I've learned from my own experience that love is a two way street, of ups and downs and give and take that if you want love you gotta be able and willing, to give love and support and encouragement and respect. For what I do know now that it's obviously as it is necessary to understand, that we have to learn how to navigate through the process of the truth, and trust in our own personal thoughts and insight and life 🙏 That love will always be a hurting thing to truly understand, the truth of what love really is to be able to share your thoughts, and insight and spiritual subconsciousness of your own self and dignity and respect 💯🪬 SHAMAN 🪬