deepundergroundpoetry.com
Undercurrent.
It feels like I’m swimming for my life,
around me, a large body of water,
and there are absolutely no signs of land in sight.
My arms and legs grow heavier
from exhaustion.
Fire is burning in my lungs, as I breathe
And while I think I’m breathing in fresh air
it doesn’t feel like oxygen, quite the opposite.
Something hot and unrelenting coils in my chest
even as I exhale.
suddenly feeling as though
I’m wading in the fiery lakes of hell.
“Keep swimming.” I think to myself.
The end has got to be near,
because now it’s either sink or swim
and I’ve got to get out of here.
Something pulls at my legs as I try to get away.
“Leaving so soon? We were hoping that you’d stay.”
The voice curls around me and prickles at my skin,
sounding like a warning,
So fight or flight is kicking in.
I struggle to get away,
hoping to break myself free.
“We are your friends, don’t run away.”
there’s that voice again…
so inviting that I’m almost tempted,
but I still choose me.
“Keep swimming.” My voice of reason says again.
“Well the offer is tempting, but I don’t want any new friends.”
I break free and swim
because surely my life depends on it,
silently praying that this nightmare comes to an end.
The moon now kisses the sky and is cradled by the stars.
I use them as a compass.
I swim toward them, in hopes that land isn’t too far.
Waves erupt in the water.
Churning angrily.
I don’t know what to expect,
I’ve denied something that lives here.
Will this be the end of me?
“Keep Swimming.”
Once more, something tugs at my legs,
fully submerging me into the water.
Deeper and deeper I’m pulled
until my lungs burn..
I always get myself into these situations,
when will I learn?
Darkness envelopes me, like a shroud in the night.
I grow tired, my body giving up its fight.
Slowly I sink beneath the undercurrent
with no more fight to give.
Because whatever has pulled me under
has decided that I should no longer live.
As I close my eyes and succumb to feeling, that is rather peaceful.
Until I’m yanked away by something equally as powerful if not more.
I open my eyes and realize that I’m alone,
but have somehow made it back to shore.
The moon no longer hanging in the sky,
but the sun is shining bright.
Feeling more protected in it’s beams
than under the cloak of night.
I fall to my knees and praise God
for his mercy and his grace.
And lastly, I thank him,
for putting anxiety and depression in their place.
“Keep Swimming.”
- Poetic Gawdess
around me, a large body of water,
and there are absolutely no signs of land in sight.
My arms and legs grow heavier
from exhaustion.
Fire is burning in my lungs, as I breathe
And while I think I’m breathing in fresh air
it doesn’t feel like oxygen, quite the opposite.
Something hot and unrelenting coils in my chest
even as I exhale.
suddenly feeling as though
I’m wading in the fiery lakes of hell.
“Keep swimming.” I think to myself.
The end has got to be near,
because now it’s either sink or swim
and I’ve got to get out of here.
Something pulls at my legs as I try to get away.
“Leaving so soon? We were hoping that you’d stay.”
The voice curls around me and prickles at my skin,
sounding like a warning,
So fight or flight is kicking in.
I struggle to get away,
hoping to break myself free.
“We are your friends, don’t run away.”
there’s that voice again…
so inviting that I’m almost tempted,
but I still choose me.
“Keep swimming.” My voice of reason says again.
“Well the offer is tempting, but I don’t want any new friends.”
I break free and swim
because surely my life depends on it,
silently praying that this nightmare comes to an end.
The moon now kisses the sky and is cradled by the stars.
I use them as a compass.
I swim toward them, in hopes that land isn’t too far.
Waves erupt in the water.
Churning angrily.
I don’t know what to expect,
I’ve denied something that lives here.
Will this be the end of me?
“Keep Swimming.”
Once more, something tugs at my legs,
fully submerging me into the water.
Deeper and deeper I’m pulled
until my lungs burn..
I always get myself into these situations,
when will I learn?
Darkness envelopes me, like a shroud in the night.
I grow tired, my body giving up its fight.
Slowly I sink beneath the undercurrent
with no more fight to give.
Because whatever has pulled me under
has decided that I should no longer live.
As I close my eyes and succumb to feeling, that is rather peaceful.
Until I’m yanked away by something equally as powerful if not more.
I open my eyes and realize that I’m alone,
but have somehow made it back to shore.
The moon no longer hanging in the sky,
but the sun is shining bright.
Feeling more protected in it’s beams
than under the cloak of night.
I fall to my knees and praise God
for his mercy and his grace.
And lastly, I thank him,
for putting anxiety and depression in their place.
“Keep Swimming.”
- Poetic Gawdess
Published Yesterday
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Yesterday 6:08pm
I was captivated, in seeing how this piece would end. I thought of it initially as someone fighting a temptation, maybe an addiction. I then thought, they might not survive. In the end, the reveal, that it's anxiety, & depression taking shape. Well done.
Yesterday 6:20pm
Your struggle is relatable. Thank you for making all this feel less alienating.
Holding you in thought, poetess.
Holding you in thought, poetess.
Yesterday 6:28pm
I can feel the struggle. How it's almost like it is squeezing the life out of you.
Today 6:08am
Reference to your last line - swimming can be a good exercise to keep anxiety and depression at bay too.
I used to go swimming at a pool near my then workplace as a lunchtime stress buster.
I used to go swimming at a pool near my then workplace as a lunchtime stress buster.
