Sold

 
“SOLD to the woman in red,” the auctioneer announced the last of the prizes for the evening. Me.

I had never been sold before. When our manager informed us that they were planning on auctioning us single men and women at his car dealership I did not hesitate. I had to put my name in the mix especially after he said the proceeds for this years company gala dinner were going to go to the children’s hospital. However I did not expect anyone to buy me. Who would, a middle aged divorced car salesman. They weren’t getting a good deal out of it.

“I think you have been screwed Mrs Campbell,” as an honest car salesman I had to tell her that. “You could have bought any one of those young sales associates up there.” I added a smirk as I shock her hand.

Mrs Dorothy Campbell chuckled sloshing her drink out of her red lipsticked mouth. She looked me up then all the way down as she held that glass of champagne in her hand before she said, “If you buy me another drink, I might be convinced not to regret my decision.”

By the end of the night Dorothy and I were sitting at the bar at the Marriott trying to figure out what kind of a deal she wanted out of this. As it turned out there were many things in common between us. I liked steak, she liked chicken. I love football, she hates sports, all kinds of sports. So basically if we had met twenty years ago no way we could have clicked back then. However now, now that we are in our forties, well, we shall have to see if she got her money’s worth.

“So Mr Jonathan, I have been told you are a good salesman,” that was her forth drink talking. “How about you sell me yourself. I have to know if my thousand bucks were worth it.”

I have been selling cars ever since I graduated from college more than twenty years ago. This was the first time I have been asked to sell myself to a lady I would have killed to sit with for just a few minutes. Those green eyes, copper hair and amazing smile against her red dress were all killers. My tongue got tide up, afraid I was going to screw this up.

When everything fails, the truth is the only option left. That was my sales motto in life. That is probably why I’m single, divorced, with no kids and no life to show for it. What the hell. “Actually I’m an international spy disguised as a car salesman in order to steel the sales secret of the Honda Civic and sell it in the black market.” That could work as well. “Oh, and I also have a private jet and I would love to take you out for a spin.”

The evening went on better than I expected. We lied to our hearts content until she was not able to stand up anymore. As it turned out she loved my dark sense of humor and how I made her relax. It also turned out this was her first date after her husband passed away more than five years ago. Her friends made her come to this gala dinner for fun. Oh, and she admitted drinking too much made her do things she regrets the next day.

After we were kicked out of the bar I had to take Dorothy home since she was not able to drive after that seventh drink. “Aren’t you going to tuck me in bed before you go?” Those were the kind of things she said she might regret after drinking so much. Besides, she paid for the evening so that was the least I could do.

The next day Dorothy stormed into the car dealership. She was still wearing her red dress only she hid her eyes with very large dark eyeglasses. She strolled in and slumped on the chair in front of me and said, “Did we?” Then she asked again “I mean did you? Last night did…” she was still shacking as she was interrogating me if we ever did.

“No,” I replied.

“Why?” She took off those glasses to reveal her puffed out eyelids. “Then why didn’t you?” She asked again.

“Because you were drunk,” I replied.

Dorothy relaxed on the chair not knowing how to respond to that. She probably thought I did. Or could. Maybe she wanted me to, but I could not. I could not take advantage of a lady who was.
 
“You are still mine you know that,” she finally smiled. “I expect you at my house at 9 tonight.” She added. “You still owe me one thousand dollars.”

Damn… I should not have put my name for that auction… why do I have a feeling I was going to regret this for the rest of my life….