My love lost until then ...

Endlessly I walk through a blinded dream           
Where are you now my darling.      
I miss you every minute of everyday,    
it seems so long that you have been gone,      
I wonder If I saw you again,      
Would my name still linger or would it be forgotten to your lips?      
Would time have made us strangers?                
Could our love be the same as it once was?   Would you reach out and hold my hand if we are reunited once more,     
     
Please save me as I slowly slip into a puddle of my tears and drown in despair,          
You alone help me stand,  
It was you that helped me find a way through rough nights and tough of days?                
                  
I wonder if you think of me ?            
When you look up at the pale moon,  
Or the crimson sky, watching the slow sinking sun between the hills,                  
It's like fire sinking into the cold earth,              
This is how my life feels now,                    
As if losing you extinguished the blaze.            
The impalpable ash becoming night,                
While memory of you is like my moonlit sky sacred, and every moment we shared, locked in forever.                    
                     
Every thought, sound, smell, song, and taste,  
Everything carries me to you, a sacred place,  
Everything that exists transports me back to your embrace.                    
The sound of your voice, your calming words used to still my restless soul.                    
I planted different fruit orchards to try find your taste,  I could not .                
I planted orchids to remind me of love  and your beauty. None could compare.                
I grew the finest roses to smell you again, the scent faded.                
I looked for you but you were gone, only when i closed my eyes could I see you, for a moment .          
                     
If I could fold my heart into a paper airplane,  
I would throw it from great heights,                    
To sail through boundless air towards you where it might land—                    
Where you could unfold it and make it whole again.                    
                     
I wonder if you wait for me, as I long for you,    for i never stopped loving you,                   
And I will never cease to love you.                    
I cannot forget the way you looked at me,  
your beautiful green eyes, emerald of beauty      
I've never forgotten that feeling of when I first gazed upon you, seeing stars shine and eternity in your eyes,              
Now I'm left holding that moment as life passes through life, that is my forevermore.  
                  
I remember how I swore I would leave before you, Unable to bear the thought of losing you,  
But you left before me, how I remember that day and now I’m left with emptiness.                
         
I gave you one last kiss upon your brow            
As I said farewell, parting from you,              
My shattered soul left alone in ache,                  
I stood there for a moment that felt like 100 years,                    
Closing my eyes tightly, hoping this is just a dream.                
As my love has left like lost doves,          
Unable to find their way home                    
Lost in a storm                   
                     
And while I remain,                    
Left to wonder endlessly through blinded dreams,                    
Eyes shut, visions I can’t hold,                    
But still I see,                    
While missing you near me.                    
                     
My heart torn from my chest amidst the roar,  
My spirit tormented by the longing and sorrow that is mine,                    
Broken into a million pieces, part of me now missing,                    
A puzzle that will never be whole.                    
My anger raging, I asked God, Why you?             
It sounds selfish, but you were always better at this,                    
But now I’m alone to live in the past as I walk forward,                    
Even my page, with words, feels empty and blank without you.                    
                     
And I hold within my hand the memories of you,                    
My pen shivers and shakes,                    
As the words I write reinforce the structure of my heart                    
The memories, all I have left.                          
How they creep through my thoughts,              
To the deep of my being,                    
Weeping from inside while I weep outward,      
I’ve run dry of tears while my soul drowns within.
       
I think of the happiness we shared,                    
And try to smell your perfume in visions I cannot grasp,                    
The scent of your hair, the touch of your fingers across my face.                
How can I save what is gone,                    
Unless through fading imagery?                    
Nothing can compare—                    
You are all that I see,                    
A dream within a dream.                    
                     
Each day, each hour, I feel that you are with me,                    
Each thought of you im reminded by the sweetness in each flower of the day.                
Longing to kiss your lips, as you seek mine.     
The vision of happiness is gone,                    
But in me, the fire burns  unextinguished or forgotten.                
My love for you feeds my soul,                    
Keeping me alive until that final moment,         When we will meet again.                    
             
I am able to live knowing I will be in your arms once more.                    
For beyond life’s door, there is peace,                    
I’m sure of this.                    
When you reach out and call me,                    
I will come to you,                    
And this is my only comfort.