First and Last Kiss (Ending)

We both went to the small kitchenette and found two Dixie cups. I followed him to his office and watched as he pulled a small bottle of Gin and tonic out of his small refrigerators under his desk.

After pouring us both a cup we did the customary tapping and took a drink. Closing my eyes and just enjoying the floral scent most gins have as it went down.

“It’s good right?” He asked as I opened my eyes to see him looking at his own cup in thought.

“Have a seat. We should not stand around after enjoying this gem.”

I smiled and went to the recliner in his office and he sat in his chair facing me.

“Romance novelist? Do you ever get fatigued writing about that topic? I always wondered that.”

What a question to have?

“I am fatigued over life but romance no, never. Every character is new. Some are damaged, some are saviors and some are just confused. But they all find romance.” I said taking another sip.

“Alright but they all find it? Romantic love–”

“I have to stop you. Not all romance is a love attachment. One out of the two may feel love or their version of it but not always love. Lust yes. Love maybe. What about your poets. Are you tired of dealing with that day in and out?”

He drifted off in thought for a moment before answering.

“Each poet is unique. They may write about similar topics but the way they write it is the point. Love can cut, cure,  mane and decimate the reader. It is just how they put it out there for the people that is important.”

“Hmm editor of poetry? Do you not write your own?” I asked him. Studying his face as he decides what he should reveal.

“Yes, but I–”

“Let me hear one. Let me feel your poetry and I will give you romance.” What was I thinking? What was this Gin thinking?

He drank some more and wheeled his chair towards me. He was right before me before he started.

                                                         Darkness
                                                Where there is darkness
                                                    There you are
                                                         Not seen but felt
                                                             If you blink to fast
                                                                 You will vanish
                                                I reach out to touch the darkness
                                                      You pull away like a skittish cat
                                                             There will be no coaxing into the light
                                                                                For there is no light
                                                                    In the depth of your darkness

Why did I stop breathing? He was inches away from me and I felt. I felt thirsty. He pulled back watching me. He was good. I guess it would be my turn.

I took a sip, put down the cup and began. I leaned in and took his hand and said,”

 Tyler I waited a long time and I know tonight can be but just a fleeting moment. Once I leave you. You will only think of me as a sweet thought. Do you remember the way you held my hand and rubbed small circles in my palm as I do to you now. I ask only one thing and then I will be that memory.”
Leaning closer so our eyes are level like before and he can feel my breath on his lips.

“Kiss me..make me sorry that I let you go. Kiss me that when I feel the darkness, I will have this moment to chase it away. Ki—”

As if he could not take it any longer he did as I asked and kissed me. This kiss was both right and wrong. We knew this and yet the passion from a single kiss spilled out and engulfed us. Singeing the fabric of who we were and what we wanted.

This kiss was not meant for him and his was not meant for me. We pulled away breaking the spell we wove around each other. He moved back breathing hard and I went back to sitting matching his breathing.

I swallowed and asked, “ Do you love me now? Or did you get caught up in the romantic feeling?”
He did not answer and that was answer enough. We stayed to finish our drinks and decided it was time to go.

Once outside he said,” If that is how you write romance, how can one not love you just a bit.”

I smiled and replied, “  remember that skittish cat ? There is no light in my darkness.”