deepundergroundpoetry.com
ECHOES OF US (INSPIRED BY MOROCCAN POET)
Echoes of us
in coitus
still haunt my room
in the night's gloom -
those sounds of you
when I poked through,
surrendering
to what I bring,
arms embracing,
bodies facing
and uniting
in low lighting....
Love seemed stronger,
but no longer -
we are parted,
I broke hearted.
I lost my grip
and let you slip
away to your
present partner.
in coitus
still haunt my room
in the night's gloom -
those sounds of you
when I poked through,
surrendering
to what I bring,
arms embracing,
bodies facing
and uniting
in low lighting....
Love seemed stronger,
but no longer -
we are parted,
I broke hearted.
I lost my grip
and let you slip
away to your
present partner.
Published 20th Oct 2024
Author's Note
Inspired by the picture accompany Moroccanpoet's own poem of same title, particularly its accompanying picture and theme of lost love. This poem grew out of a rhyming comment I sent him on his poem.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
20th Oct 2024 9:46am
20th Oct 2024 2:56pm
Lost love is such a painful thing. Especially when you can see where you went wrong. Love how you pull inspiration from anywhere Brother Solomon, and make ink flow smoothly into my mind. Another good one
Nice one!
I would change the following:
I broke hearted
to
I'm broken hearted
or simply:
Broken hearted
I would change the following:
I broke hearted
to
I'm broken hearted
or simply:
Broken hearted
21st Oct 2024 6:03pm
It's not strictly grammatical but I said broke hearted to fit in with the syllable count I wanted on each line. The word is sometimes used for broken in the vernacular of some regions.
