where real feelings live

within the pool of life, I am drowning
a surprise since I'm a good swimmer
there is an under-current
I'm fighting it and I'm not sure why
I'm in love with someone I'm not convinced loves me

my mind makes excuses why his eyes flash ice-blue
then I see the ocean when he gazes at me
and just like that I'm drowning again

my mind is my enemy
always taking responsibility
if I am crazy it is a pain my body can't handle that triggers it
excuses are made as well as alternate realities

how a person can go from so warm to cruel so easily
was it a case of never love?
perhaps I filled a need and that was it
my mind only gets this way when certain buttons are pushed

I'm running out of energy the under tow has me
the pool is fathomless it will be relief to just let go
the abyss is welcoming many lovely unloved people
found themselves there

where you no longer believe that love lasts forever
and your heart can grow cold
forgetting days in the sun when things seemed true
maybe that kind of love is for some

I've never known it, real love doesn't shut on and off like a light
neither is it always on the hunt for something better
this kind of love just uses you up
keeping everything tight to your chest
hurt rises and drowns sorrow

no need to feel anything now but I always do
I didn't come with an on-and-off switch
so sadly my pain will linger because the abyss
has me drowning in my feelings

he will be fine because as smart as I am
he appears smarter because he never invested anything in me
to get heartbroken you have to have a heart