Scars and Trauma

We survive trauma and keep on living
Why?
We survive trauma and keep on living
But... why?

If that day was successful, would it mean that my pain wouldn't be this harsh
The child inside me begged to be love
When i woke up i begged for a day that was never coming
so why..... do we survive trauma and keep on living

I begged you no but you did not hear my screams
But why?
Did i say No to quietly?
Did i not say anything at all ?
Didn't you hear me?
Didn't you see the tears down my face?
Did you hear me?
No? but you understood that didn't you?

If that day was successful, would it mean that i would finally be at peace?
The adult inside me wanted to heal from my childhood trauma....
When i woke up would i finally be healed
But it never came
so why..... so we survive trauma and choose to keep on living

I begged you to stop but you did not hear me?
Did i do something wrong?
Was it the way i looked, smiled or spoke?
Did you hear me say NO?

If that day was successful, how would i be able to tell my story?
About the first day you hurt me.....
Remember, i was pregnant with our son
Remember....
You promised it wouldn't happen again
Remember
But that was a lie....

We survive trauma and keep on living
but why?
Some people died but somehow...
I survived and i'm tired.  
I used to dream of a life but not this....