Am I a Murderer?

Am I a murderer for each tear I shed,  
For every silent scream inside my head?  
Is each skipped breath a crime I commit,  
Each sleepless night, a mark that won't quit?

Am I a murderer for the dreams I erase,  
For killing the light in this familiar face?  
I push myself closer to that fatal edge,  
Hoping the wind will answer my pledge.

Am I a murderer for the scars I create,  
For flirting with fate, for sealing my fate?  
Each pill, each cut, each skipped meal,  
Is this the only way I know how to heal?

Am I a murderer of the child I was,  
Of the future I thought I'd once embrace?  
Or am I just the victim inside this shell,  
Trapped in a body that feels like a cell?

I am the judge, the jury, the hand, the blade
A war within that cannot be stayed.  
But if I am both the murderer and the slain,  
Can there still be hope after all this pain?