I don't know how to live

I don’t know how to live—  
I’m not alive,  
Just breathing moments  
I barely survive.  
Ghosts of hours pass me by,  
I see them fade, but wonder why  
I feel so thin, I feel so weak,  
This life is something I can’t seek.

I am not here, not anywhere,  
Just floating in the heavy air.  
A river with no course to run,  
No bed to rest, no rising sun.  
Am I real? Or just a thought—  
A shell of what I once forgot.  
A body moving with no will,  
An empty heart, a soul so still.

I wake each day, my eyes still close,  
The world brushes me, yet never knows.  
I touch the earth, I feel no ground,  
This heavy fog, this endless sound.  
Am I here, or halfway gone?  
Drifting in a muted dawn.

I drift between the light and dark,  
Between the silence, fading spark.  
Where do I end, where do I start?  
I’ve lost the weight inside my heart.