grievous

you hurt my heart by saying nothing
you act cold and distant
how you turn it on and off
I burn hot
until you leave me hanging
then I withdraw
hiding my tears

you aren't worthy of my pain
but I love you and I know when I pull away
part of my soul goes with you

waiting on the bluebird of happiness
I saw that once all the crazies
were waiting for that damn bluebird
it could be a good omen
but I don't believe that

I was made to torture
I'm good to people
and they act like I don't exist
grieving when my man jumps aboard
the same fuck you ship

what does matter
I'm not pretentious
I'm too kind and forgive people
even when they slight me

it's hard not to forgive when it's everybody who does it
I could handle a few and just say fuck off
if I were to do that I wouldn't talk to anyone

I take the back seat because of my mental health
that doesn't excuse ignoring me when I simply say hello
and usually, I've learned that people who are too nice
end up wanting something from me

either way it hurts
it triggers me and I get worse
my tears are gentle with my heart
they don't connect with it down deep

sorrow and sadness I can take
but when you enter my depths of hurt
and the abandonment fears rise to the surface

touching me in my darkest places
when they connect
this is when I go off the deep end

reality bends then skews
and you no longer matter
I'll never be alone now

left behind at three
the dark picked me up
and hid me
they kept me from harm

when I weep
they keen then they get angry
and go to war
it's not up to me

sorrow is friendly
she is melancholy
but my spirt children
Pain, Chaos , Mischief, Loki, Exodus, and Lutheran
they take things personally

they are currently in the universes for their university
but if they sense I'm having issues they're
less than a heartbeat away
you could call it karma they act on my behalf