something to lose, nothing to lose, survival....

       
       
       
    some do it because they love it; some do it because they "need" to, some do it because of nature.... but deep down I truly hate it....        
       
    fighting....      
     
in some shape or form.... purging every internal element that makes up the human storm; how I hate it.... I hate that part of human nature.... one's just one of many head cases- more or less participating....      
       
 I'd like to keep those rose colored glasses on.... I'd like to ignore what's fact in drown in one's temptations....in my case- pain is the ultimate motivation....while pure survival's supposed to be-and it is to some degree....      
       
   flight is what I'm craving; fighting is more or less biology.... how I hate it.... that part of human nature.... the part that every now or then that needs genuine engagement- so before one's sanity's foresaken- an exercise is what the doctor ordered for this patient....        
       
I hate it....because deep down, I just want to find ways to escape this matrix....