voices

you're my grace when midnight calls
and I'm on the floor
reeling with delusions

you comfort me and make me laugh
you keep watch over me
when my mind is no longer my own

madness hurts I get frightened
my demons are terrors but they are my own
you love me no matter what
I know I come with a lot of spirits
you find yourself afraid too
but you still stand up for me

in my darkened states
you battle with me
I don't know what the point is
I hear full discussions in my head
between people who don't talk like me
they use strange words I don't know
they have different mannerisms

some are scary some are funny
but I live a distracted life
where my mind isn't mine
only a portion of the time

I'm very quiet and they have a lot to say
so I just stay somewhere deep inside me and listen
sometimes my soul seems missing
and my internal voice sounds odd

I guess I'm wandering the universes
I just wait patiently for my soul to come home
this is how I live

writing is  my savior
it helps me get things out
it's very difficult I get afraid of reviewing my older poems
because i can lose weeks of memory
I don't what I said or did

and people are usually angry with me
I grieve for the loss of people I care about
so I isolate it It's better that way
so I don't hurt someone's feelings
and I don't lose any more friends
my miracle is my husband he's been with me 25 years
and he has met hell dealing with me