Sex Banters

You: I didn’t know you wanted to have sex?!
Me: it’s been more than three months, now you know.  
 
You: sex is not on my mind anymore  
Me: really?! Three months should have given it away.  
 
Me: how about sex tonight  
You: nope sorry tonight I can’t  
Me: why not
You: I’m doing my hair  
 
Me: how many times should I beg for sex
You: you can beg all you want. Not going to happen.  
 
Me: if we don’t have sex tonight I’m going to move to the guest room
You: Finally the queen bed all to myself
 
You: how could I’ve known you wanted  sex. I’m not a mind reader.  
Me: you could have fooled me. You seem to know exactly how much I have in my bank account.
 
Me: I’m not a garbage man or a handyman. I have physical needs, you know. I want to screw you.  
You: yeh well you need to screw those lightbulbs and take out the trash. And don’t screw around in that backyard for long, you still have lots of chores to do.  
 
You: it’s past the time sex is part of our priorities anymore
Me: I didn’t get the memo that we were dead
 
You: if you want sex you can always use your hands
Me: what do you think I’ve been doing for the past ten years  
 
Me: we used to have sex 3 times a week
You: after 4680 times aren’t you getting tired of it?!
 
You: no don’t  
Me: why?
You: I’m still dry
Me: shall I get the lub
You: nope it makes me itchy
Me: ok how about oral
You: never liked it
Me: ok how about your hand
You: you have two of those. Why don’t you use them
Me: how about I move out
You: now you’re talking