deepundergroundpoetry.com
endgame
I can't keep letting your emotions impact mine
you hate that my shields are up all the time
I know that you think you are trying
I don't know how to help you anymore
but I dived into the deepest hell
and I know how deeply you've met yourself
you can't give me what I need
long-suffering your lack of ambition
is so unfair to me, it is like pulling teeth
I've marked the path as far as I can see for you
and honestly that alone is too much
if you ever understand all I have done
emasculation has already doomed us
your niceties only make you a coward to me
I carry all burden and get no reprieve
what more do you want from me
this convenience has turned into stagnancy
I miss my femininity
break away from me
I won't show all my cards
I dangle the keys
you know I will leave
you're a limited chess piece
I am the queen
I'll give myself relief
I remember that I chose you
because you felt like home
then realized how foreign that is to me
only the stinging ache of familiarity
the kind that has mostly brought me pain
I guess it's hit or miss when you're from the same town
I've become something more than you can offer me now
I'd say it's not your fault
but you've had the options to make decisions that count
you waited for someone like me to stumble into your lap
but I've been you before
so you did not expect our metaphysical gap
you want it easy but I need the layers
this feeling you believe to be unconditional
is a mindset I long to declaw
the only infinity is the impossibility
of longevity when you're blind to my heart
everything is finite and I won't be convinced
to smudge the boundaries that I preserve
it's just not my kind of dirt
believe me, I'm raw to get filthy
with a mastermind who can master mine
it takes two to play
you've no concept of the game
I don't think you can level up
and I no longer fit in this skin
you remind me of places I've been
your mind as stale as sorry spell work
but you'll have to save yourself
my shadows call me cursebreaker
now the hounds lick the palms of my hands
how can you ever understand
what I need is a shadow man
with a grip of steel against his own darkness
does this ring a bell? I can already smell
your attention wavering toward complacence
it is not enough for me
I want to scream it to the heavens
understanding doesn't ease the disgust
coiled tightly in my belly waiting to combust
the mother bars you from entering my dreams
I cannot ask for another sign
she has emboldened them time after time
you're losing me
I may already be gone
I'm leaving a trail
I dare you to run
you hate that my shields are up all the time
I know that you think you are trying
I don't know how to help you anymore
but I dived into the deepest hell
and I know how deeply you've met yourself
you can't give me what I need
long-suffering your lack of ambition
is so unfair to me, it is like pulling teeth
I've marked the path as far as I can see for you
and honestly that alone is too much
if you ever understand all I have done
emasculation has already doomed us
your niceties only make you a coward to me
I carry all burden and get no reprieve
what more do you want from me
this convenience has turned into stagnancy
I miss my femininity
break away from me
I won't show all my cards
I dangle the keys
you know I will leave
you're a limited chess piece
I am the queen
I'll give myself relief
I remember that I chose you
because you felt like home
then realized how foreign that is to me
only the stinging ache of familiarity
the kind that has mostly brought me pain
I guess it's hit or miss when you're from the same town
I've become something more than you can offer me now
I'd say it's not your fault
but you've had the options to make decisions that count
you waited for someone like me to stumble into your lap
but I've been you before
so you did not expect our metaphysical gap
you want it easy but I need the layers
this feeling you believe to be unconditional
is a mindset I long to declaw
the only infinity is the impossibility
of longevity when you're blind to my heart
everything is finite and I won't be convinced
to smudge the boundaries that I preserve
it's just not my kind of dirt
believe me, I'm raw to get filthy
with a mastermind who can master mine
it takes two to play
you've no concept of the game
I don't think you can level up
and I no longer fit in this skin
you remind me of places I've been
your mind as stale as sorry spell work
but you'll have to save yourself
my shadows call me cursebreaker
now the hounds lick the palms of my hands
how can you ever understand
what I need is a shadow man
with a grip of steel against his own darkness
does this ring a bell? I can already smell
your attention wavering toward complacence
it is not enough for me
I want to scream it to the heavens
understanding doesn't ease the disgust
coiled tightly in my belly waiting to combust
the mother bars you from entering my dreams
I cannot ask for another sign
she has emboldened them time after time
you're losing me
I may already be gone
I'm leaving a trail
I dare you to run
Published 17th Aug 2024
| Edited 5th Jan 2025
Author's Note
a rambling of sorts
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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