Perfectly intact

I plead insanity.
By now I should have learned.
Happiness is not for me.
I'm here to get burned.
 
It's so melodic.
My heart drums a sullen beat.
A tempo so despotic.
Victory song of self defeat.
 
I'm Insufferable.
Thus should suffer being weak.
Designed irreparable.
Another fix is all I seek.  
 
It's narcotic.
Now it wears my skin.
Discordant harmonic.
Bound to kill me from within.
 
I fill the interim.
Like a space that isn't there.
Shows my delirium.
You're not here because you care.
 
I gave too much.
Despite being empty.
Life goes as such.
Live to thrive on the futility.