If I Were a Man for a Day

First thing I’d do, without hesitation
I’m peeing standing up

The rest I’m doing in no particular order…

I’m putting the toilet seat down when I’m done
A lady might come along after me
Their bladders can be weaker
When they’re in a hurry, they sometimes don’t look
It’s not so nice a feeling sitting on thin, cold porcelain
And not only am I going to be courteous enough to make sure her bottom is comfy when she’s on the throne
I’m going to flush when I’m finished
No presents left behind for her to find
She may want to know me intimately
But nobody needs to see that

I’m telling any other dude I can get my hands on that menopause is no joke
Women can literally go insane
They’re bodies do things that are unfathomable to men
Trying to sleep when you sweat so much you have to shower in the middle of the night and have to change the sheets more than once every single night changes a woman’s life
And it can last for ten years, sometimes more
No wonder she can get cranky
There’s sooooooo much more
(most of it not so nice)
It’s not they’re fault
They didn’t ask for it
If men had to go through it there would have already been a remedy, a cure, anything to make sure they didn’t have to deal with it

I’m going to make it my mission to hold every freaking door open I can find
For every woman, younger and older person I find
It’s not just a courtesy thing
Being a gentleman seems to have become a lost art
The world today needs that
Kindness, simple things, and a return to chivalry
It’s got to start somewhere, might as well start with me
(that includes telling women they are beautiful, some women have never had a man tell her that)

I’m going to tell any woman I can find to go easier on men
They try
They really do
Men want to fix things
They have a deep need to be in control
It’s not a bad thing
Don’t bulldoze them
Recognize their virility
Tell him how handsome he looks, how sexy he is
(some men have never heard that)
Work as a team
Encourage him to allow you to be independent and allow yourself to be taken care of
(hint: men like to be taken care of also, they like to be pampered in ways that a woman can provide)
It can work          
           
           
* Don’t shoot the messenger. Waking up as a man would be a gift. We should all have the opportunity to experience life on the other side somehow so that we could have empathy for the opposite sex rather than being at odds and feeling misunderstood.