Playing The Fool

My heart is heavy as I lay here tonight
Thinking of all that I never get right

Holding back tears as I try not to feel
Pain from a lifetime of wounds that wont heal

I find it so hard to believe that I matter
If I get fooled again then my heart might just shatter

Im so fucking tired of feeling alone
Caution to the wind over any kindness shown

Setting myself up to be hurt in the end
Fully committed while they play pretend

Am I really better off now that I care?
All it seems to bring is getting caught unaware

Sacrificing myself for others to be good
But if I needed help I don't know if they would

Why do I bother with getting attached?
Giving away love that never gets matched

I know its a lie but I choose to believe
Its the only explanation cuz Im not that naive

Ignoring the signs cuz its a family I crave
Someplace to call home before I reach the grave