emo twinks still remind me of you

I purge these old memories
a lifetimes worth of horror
and I find that your face
is the only one I miss

Because we were beautiful
and fucked up and you
were my best friend

I still remember the way
it felt to get wrapped up
in your slender arms
and the way you tasted
of cigarettes and Malibu
and platonic love

I remember the way we'd
write terrible poetry together
you, my first ever
collaborater in crime
the shit we penned on paper
often making us laugh so hard
we couldn't breathe

I loved you after everyone else
was long gone

And I'll never understand
how you chose him over me
that stupid man you loved
that you wouldn't believe
was verbally and emotionally
abusing me when you weren't around
in the apartment we all shared

Your relationship ending within a month
of me deciding I couldn't live like that
and I did my trademark act
of making myself disappear

I tried to stay friends with you
after you begged my forgiveness
but this wasn't something I could forgive

You broke my already broken heart
 
I wish I could freeze that old love
somewhere in time
untouched by your betrayal

But I can't
and instead I suffer through
these random moments
of missing you