deepundergroundpoetry.com
Not Quite Breakfast at Tiffany's
There’s a Tiger named Tony with his frosted corn flakes
who sits in my kitchen and yells that they’re GRRRREAT!
My ears are still ringing when a green leprechaun
jumps up on the table without a stitch on.
“I’m magically delicious!” He’s waving his arms.
“I want to get Lucky. Have a taste of my Charms!”
Cap’N Crunch pulls his sword and gives it a swing.
The leprechaun panics. “He’s cut off my thing!”
There’s a bird by my window with a colorful beak
“That midget’s a Froot Loop and the captain’s a freak,”
he says as he craps in my cup by the sink.
Just because he shits rainbows doesn’t mean it don’t stink.
Three miniature guys who ‘Snap, Crackle, Pop’
fall into my blender and turn into slop.
Fred Flintstone and Barney show up about nine.
They play with their Pebbles until they go blind.
Some rabbit named Trix must be high on cocaine.
He jumps through the ceiling and smashes his brain.
Count Chocula pokes his sharp fangs in my neck.
He thought I was sweet but just wanted to check.
“I’ve had all the sugar this sweet tooth can stand.
Get out of my kitchen! Yeah, that’s a demand!”
I chase them around till they run out the door,
then scrape up dead bunny and mop the whole floor.
I clean out the blender, my coffee cup too.
I’ll admit that I’m famished by the time that I’m through.
I’m flustered and desperate for something to eat.
To hell with cold carbs; give me spicy HOT MEAT!
Then, who should show up like a western surprise
in his boots and his hat and his thick cowboy thighs
but a dude with the prettiest sausage I’ve seen.
“Howdy, ma’am.” He smiles warmly. “My name’s Jimmy Dean.”
Published 17th Jun 2024
Author's Note
The 'Tell Me About Your Morning' contest.
Review your Cereal Mascots
Review your Cereal Mascots
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 5
comments 22
reads 400
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
17th Jun 2024 6:16am
19th Jun 2024 00:11am
17th Jun 2024 8:23am
19th Jun 2024 00:13am
Did you eat all this stuff, Ron? I have to admit that I like a crunch berry or two. Thanks for checking it out!
17th Jun 2024 8:58am
I bet you’re not buying Samantha cereal anymore … you just removed the “Part of a complete breakfast” for my kids
17th Jun 2024 12:34pm
19th Jun 2024 00:17am
I try to avoid this stuff. She actually likes Raisin Bran with banana slices.
19th Jun 2024 00:21am
Anonymous
- Edited 18th Sep 2024 8:45am
17th Jun 2024 2:12pm
<< post removed >>
19th Jun 2024 00:19am
Wow, what an inspiration you are, Midnight! Thank you! I'm hugely flattered by all this, and I can't thank you enough! So awesome! Let me know when you put something up. Thanks for this amazing comment!
Anonymous
- Edited 19th Dec 2024 5:45pm
17th Jun 2024 5:43pm
<< post removed >>
19th Jun 2024 00:22am
17th Jun 2024 10:20pm
19th Jun 2024 00:23am
21st Jun 2024 7:04pm
Wat a morning, DampKitten! I love it. I always thought these characters were innocent creatures but it seems lately they are not! I remember Tiger Tony for sure. 🤣
21st Jun 2024 7:16pm
Thanks! I actually had to do some research for this, but most of these cereals are still around. It is curious to look back at their history, the old commercials and stuff. Everyone knows about Tony the Tiger.
Thanks for reading, Billy!
Thanks for reading, Billy!
23rd Jun 2024 10:58am
I love this. One of the best openings/poems I've read in a long time.
"There’s a Tiger named Tony with his frosted corn flakes
who sits in my kitchen and yells that they’re GRRRREAT!"
For sure, haha 😆
"There’s a Tiger named Tony with his frosted corn flakes
who sits in my kitchen and yells that they’re GRRRREAT!"
For sure, haha 😆
23rd Jun 2024 4:32pm
Thanks, D.C.! I love your comment and thank you for reading!
Tony is pretty GRRRREAT!!!
Tony is pretty GRRRREAT!!!
24th Jun 2024 4:08am
24th Jun 2024 4:12am
I'm so glad, Duice! That's what I wanted to do.
Thanks for reading. Love your comment!
Meg
Thanks for reading. Love your comment!
Meg
26th Jun 2024 5:21pm
Omg, I love this poem.
This part:
There’s a bird by my window with a colorful beak
“That midget’s a Froot Loop and the captain’s a freak,”
Freaking clever through and through.
LJ
This part:
There’s a bird by my window with a colorful beak
“That midget’s a Froot Loop and the captain’s a freak,”
Freaking clever through and through.
LJ
1st Jul 2024 6:28am
Wow, thank you so much for reading this and telling me your thoughts! I love that! I really love it when someone picks their favorite line in a piece. That makes my day!
Thank you!
Thank you!
