unintentional rebel

 
I sometimes feel I'm an earthborn paradox
an entity of murky origins
where does one fit
when mind & heart conflict
trying to exist in endless battle
loading ammunition in a shotgun missing one barrel
fighting demons with my teeth
when a pistol might serve better
eternal servant to my internal addict
craving escape from this perpetual struggle
when the best I can get is a thin beam
seen through a crack...a sliver
like light strained through frost
it's glow is lost in the maelstrom of thought
thick with society's judgment
am I blemish on this rock
a blunder someone forgot to edit
a sheep refusing to bleep in unison
watching them march to the assigned gate
like an airport parade
going where they're told...I won't
all those minds locked into mechanical devices
with one hothead agitator after another spewing hate
guess the new real is now fake
& media is a place where they parrot baloney like it's gospel
a baseline for everyone to mimic
so why do I insist on thinking for myself
going ballistic when they hit me with their fast talk
dancing away like a ballerina on ice
I skitter without any grace
but I remain...
...unapologetically me



inspired by Duende's 29 tough words poem Madness post...helluva challenge!