too nice

I ask you if you're happy
you ask me to define happy
before we get to the crux
of this meh

I watch you exhale
cigarette smoke
out your nose
without looking at me

You tell me she's nice
the kind of nice
that makes you want to
piss in her Chardonnay
just to see if she'd notice
and make some remark
about a bad batch
before pouring it down the sink

You're not the kind of guy
that does nice
but the sex is fantastic
and you're not sure
if it's worth is giving up
because everything
else about her bores
the absolute hell out of you

It's easy you say
you can be the lazy demented fucker
you never claimed not to be
and she'll look at you
like you're a house in need
of some TLC
like maybe she can fix you up
if she's just nice enough
patient enough
loving enough

While you're fantasising
about how badly you want
her to get so mad at you
she throws an ashtray at your head
and calls you a useless fucker
and how she wishes you were dead
just so you know she has
another emotion
beyond nice

I look at you
like the dickhead you are
steal a drag of your cigarette
and say nothing

There are worse things in life
than nice

You're both the morons
in this scenario

Her for trying to fix a person
like they're a thing
and you for being
well
you