bittersweet memories (Paula)

1.  
Well fuck me with a pick axe  
and call me the Bonnie  
to your Clyde  
you were the most batshit crazy woman  
I ever had the misfortune  
of getting emotionally involved with  
 
2.  
We met online  
two fucked up poets  
a few hours drive away  
from each other  
 
3.  
I think  
I could have fallen in love with you  
if you'd stayed on your meds  
but you liked things messy  
blurry  
polarised  
 
4.  
You liked to masturbate  
to true crime shows  
and anything involving serial killers  
 
I liked that you were fucked up  
cause I was fucked up  
and I was in that dark mental place  
we're I couldn't get off to porn  
unless it was violent  
and some weird shit  
on Best Gore got me wet  
when the insomnia took over  
and I couldn't sleep  
and horror was the only thing  
that could make me feel something  
 
5.  
You promised sweet violence  
and the masochist in me  
wanted to taste it  
like the reincarnation  
of a Hieronymus Bosch painting  
come to life  
 
6.  
We made each other feel alive  
when midnight ruled our minds  
but damn, I'm so glad  
I never gave you my full name  
or my address  
cause it would have ended  
in a restraining order  
 
7.  
I jumped ship when you  
in all seriousness  
suggested we go find  
pretty young women to fuck  
kill them  
and leave them behind  
in anonymous hotel rooms  
 
8.  
I want to believe  
it was just a sick manic fantasy  
you had when you were off your meds  
 
9.  
I wasn't going to stick around  
to find out  
if you wanted to add me  
to your body count  
in more ways than one