bittersweet memories (Christina)

1.  
Mid evening    
Friday  
church youth group  
someone is playing guitar  
there's laughter  
we sneak around the side  
of the building  
and you kiss me  
against these saintly walls  
that have never tasted  
as good as your mouth  
 
2.  
Church on Sunday  
the baby room is always empty  
a group of us claim it  
one keeps watch through  
the two way mirror  
we make out on the couch  
while someone gets stuck  
in a cot  
and our friends pretend  
like they're not watching us kissing  
sinners in a locked room  
while the pastor  
spits words we won't remember  
fingers lost in hands and hair  
tongues giving in to a temptation  
that is holier than their hypocrisy  
 
3.  
You come up from the city  
for my local blue light disco  
people stare at us  
and whisper  
at the two girls  
wrapped around each other  
I kiss you while we dance  
as Westlife blares through  
the too loud speakers  
 
It becomes our song  
 
We stay at a friend's house  
the weird hardcore Christian girl  
(she was the pity invite)  
literally gets in the middle of us kissing  
sin makes her uncomfortable  
and she throws out bible verses  
no one listens to  
 
My best friend whispers to me  
that she has the kind of face  
she'd like to punch  
it makes me smile  
takes the edge off the anger  
burning through me  
coupled with the unresolved desire  
of wanting to touch you  
 
4.  
Monday morning  
at school I'm a scandal  
my Christian "friends"  
only talk to me to tell me  
I'm disgusting  
while rumours fly  
that I'm surely having an affair  
with my other best friend  
cause we're so close  
and she won't have sex  
with her boyfriend  
 
I wear the memory of you  
like a shield  
no one can hurt me  
through this love  
 
5.  
My parents thought it was just a phase  
my dad kicks you out of our house  
tired of this game  
 
I pack a quick bag and grab a pillow  
we stay at your cousins place  
I go back with you to the city  
two days later  
 
I won't talk to my parents for 6 months  
 
6.  
We stay at your grandmother's house  
on the fold out sofa  
for someone's birthday maybe  
(I can't remember)  
 
People keep walking out  
on us all night  
to make sure aren't fucking  
 
We get lost in kisses and giggles  
your skin a wonderland  
 
We only stop after someone  
almost catches me  
with my hands on your breasts  
nipple in my mouth  
a moan on the edge of your lips  
 
7.  
Five months in  
we made love on your single bed  
and I came so hard I almost blacked out  
 
You freaked out  
had to walk it off  
came back and kissed me  
told me you were scared  
you didn't know it would feel that good  
 
8.  
I didn't know then  
that this would be as good as it got