I don't have the right words for this one

Your pain is not an artwork  
made for gallery walls  
or a lone sketchbook  
buried and forgotten  
at the back of your closet  
 
Your pain is the sound  
of a violin string snapping  
wood splintering and crashing  
lost in the discord  
of your unheard screams  
 
I used to love you like an artwork  
easily and from afar  
because you were easy to love  
your flaws easy to forget  
when your true face was a mystery  
hidden behind a golden smile  
 
I loved you and you splintered me  
like an instrument smashed against a wall  
in a moment of passionate insanity    
 
I tried to find peace  
in the void of your silence  
but I missed you  
like a part of me had been displaced  
 
And I wanted nothing  
but my own pain and rage  
cradled against my chest  
I wanted to forget  
that I made you a part of me  
your name tattooed on my heart  
along with everyone else  
I have loved and lost  
along with everyone who  
can't forget my name or my face  
though fuck knows, we all try  
 
And then you're back  
with my fucking heart in your hands  
though you can't tell  
where my heart ends and yours begins  
and you break me open  
the way you always do  
the way I've always let you  
 
Wordlessly  
 
Silently  
 
Without a single fuck you  
to be found  
because I don't have the heart  
to break you back  
 
Because you don't know  
how much I love you  
 
Because you don't know  
how much it hurts  
to watch you over tightening  
the stings again  
like they won't break  
and ricochet  
into my already too fragile heart  
that can't take the violence  
whispering to you  
from the bottom  
of another bottle  
that promises nothing good