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So, Cerys—
we meet again
as I take up these words,
fall into the future with arms
outstretched t’ward stars
I think of how uncertain life
fucking is—
how it’s the unexpected
that sweeps me up,
puts its hands on old scars
reads them like braille
all those secrets,
all that bile
and it’s over now.
I think back to my Mother
how her heart is a fortress
arriving unannounced for visits,
glimpses into her steel-bar world
and Dad’s lack of feeling
blunting with every death,
choking out the fucking light
until there was nothing left.
I shouldn’t feel.
I don’t know how.
But we’re here, Cerys,
we’re fucking here
plugged into each other’s heads
like life support, watching rain
slash dirty windows
thinking how a smile
is as much a bandage
as rage
all that fierce joy
seeping out strangely
beyond the page.
as I take up these words,
fall into the future with arms
outstretched t’ward stars
I think of how uncertain life
fucking is—
how it’s the unexpected
that sweeps me up,
puts its hands on old scars
reads them like braille
all those secrets,
all that bile
and it’s over now.
I think back to my Mother
how her heart is a fortress
arriving unannounced for visits,
glimpses into her steel-bar world
and Dad’s lack of feeling
blunting with every death,
choking out the fucking light
until there was nothing left.
I shouldn’t feel.
I don’t know how.
But we’re here, Cerys,
we’re fucking here
plugged into each other’s heads
like life support, watching rain
slash dirty windows
thinking how a smile
is as much a bandage
as rage
all that fierce joy
seeping out strangely
beyond the page.
Published 14th May 2024
Author's Note
One of my most favourite albums of all time is Catatonia’s ‘International Velvet’, but ‘Strange Glue’ was right there for me today: https://youtu.be/k0mPUNbRxW4?si=04ZDTFLIMig1CGlR
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The author encourages honest critique.
14th May 2024 1:30pm
Nicely penned. Did the poem come straight to you after you heard the song? Fia xoxo
15th May 2024 5:55pm
Actually it was during. In a hospital canteen. Eating a banana with a cup of tea. Looking out at English rain. I do that. :)
-M
-M
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Jan 2025 8:45am
14th May 2024 6:52pm
<< post removed >>
15th May 2024 5:57pm
Part from the song. Part from new friends and new perspectives. I love how fucked and beautiful life is simultaneously. It’s a constant source of inspiration.
Thanks for dropping in :)
-M
(Also, I got your PM about the poetry thing. I’m not ignoring you, I just haven’t had a minute. But I will!)
Thanks for dropping in :)
-M
(Also, I got your PM about the poetry thing. I’m not ignoring you, I just haven’t had a minute. But I will!)
Wonderful piece of writing. The unknown has always been a source of stress and anxiety. However, you have shown me another side of it. All of the wonder that can be wrapped up in it. How staying closed off can rob you of that opportunity. I have held onto rage like a security blanket, but the smiles you have provided have eased wounds in ways that rage never could.
I greatly appreciate your ability to express intricate feelings through written word. 😊
I greatly appreciate your ability to express intricate feelings through written word. 😊
15th May 2024 6:05pm
Thank you kindly.
What can I say apart from it’s been an unexpected privilege and an honour to get to know you and your story. It’s bizarre and scary… but also entirely wonderful. Even on Vlad days.
Thank you for making me question everything about myself in all the good ways. Props to you for that. Mean it.
- M
What can I say apart from it’s been an unexpected privilege and an honour to get to know you and your story. It’s bizarre and scary… but also entirely wonderful. Even on Vlad days.
Thank you for making me question everything about myself in all the good ways. Props to you for that. Mean it.
- M
15th May 2024 4:59pm
Strange glue is one of my favourite songs!! And this sits so beautifully with it. The Dad stanza is full of courage. Well done M
15th May 2024 5:54pm
Dude… can we please talk about Strange Glue because it’s one of my favourite songs too. Ever. Cerys Matthew’s voice just does things to me, and it’s something that more recent music does not. Yeah. Huge love for her and this album.
Thanks for being here. I love it when you visit :)
-M
Thanks for being here. I love it when you visit :)
-M
