Conflicted

(Life)
Ill be the 1st to admit that I have problems
Praying to God that he will help me solve em
Im torn......
Torn between differentiating fantasy
From what is reality
Im broken.......
Spirit broke down from dreams unfulfilled
Laying under a pile of my feelings that were killed
It might be some time before my emotions rebuild
Im lost........
Trying to become the man i wanna be
Seperating myself from who I used to be
To find the road to be travelled as the man I am currently
Using poetry to stay out of depression
It has become more than words, now its an obsession
Some say im good, to others the best
I dont really care as long as it stops the stress
Because I know that Im blessed
And my feelings are expressed
From one rhyme to the next
So negative thoughts in my mind wont manifest
And Im pretty sure that this stress is one of God's test
So I gotta keep going til' ive finished this quest
(Love)
Is it really for love or is it for lust
I thought relationships were based on respect and trust
Or maybe through all this time
I became blind
And lost my mind
In a world of the unkind mind's design
Im just beginning to understand what it means to be the unloved lover
Been living a lie so long that I became a world wonder
Because I wonder why in the world she refuses to say whats real
Your wildest imagination wouldnt know how all the lies feel
Will we ever make love or just continue to make rumors
The idea of our union seems only real to drug users
Now I dont mean to sound creul or even thoughtless
But I guess im at fault for trying to give my oversized heart to the heartless
(Overall)
I guess you can say im a cause of confusion
Every thing seems gucci, but in reality im losing
99 problems
I need some help to solve em
I dont wanna say there bitches
But I dont know what else to call em
I do everything I can honest
And my actions go unacknowledged
My friends turn into phantoms
So now my trust isnt something that's given out at random
They say you havent seen anything until your world has been turn upside down
But I feel like mine has been turn right side up
Cause I finally see the truth, unstead of looking for it at the bottom of that styrofoam cup......
So to all of those who say they love me but act like they dont know what my name is
I gotta message for you. F yall, Im shameless.

J-Sly