addicted to you

Will you tie me down
will you choke me out
will you fuck me back
into my body?

Because my mind has been
wandering down dark paths
and I watch porn
like it's a clinical demonstration
when all I want to do
is feel something

I fucked myself at 5:30
this morning
hands under the bedsheets
and I want to say I thought of you
but I didn't
because imagining you
is never as good as feeling you

We walk a fine line between
tenderness and violence
and I love the way
your calloused hands graze my skin
long before you hold me down
one hand tangled in my hair
the other around my throat
as I close my eyes in a surrender
that finds peace in the way
your body slams into mine

And I always hurt a little bit
the next day
though I asked for it
begged for it
replay it over in my head
until you get home from work
and kiss you
like we could do it all again