no subcontractors allowed

 
he looked upon the expanse of my flesh
proclaiming it perfect
forbidding the loss of even a single ounce
as if he had the right
believing he actually saw me naked
I have never been anything as simple as that
not realizing the layers that went into my making
how every pound represents something else
more sinister than this body can adequately express
comprised of years of abuse
& decades of self-loathing
{the worst...
nothing can be done
more horrific
than what we do to ourselves}
it's a fortress...understand
built painstakingly...to protect
it's time the walls came down
...a one woman job
I've been steadfastly disassembling
pound by pound
a cleansing...of sorts
letting toxicity dissipate
allowing fresh air to flood my being
& this shell he once declared perfection...
will never be that
but at least it will be healthy...
...& honest