under pressure

 
not knowing where your mind is lately  
wondering where you went with your heart  
first, you stopped talking to me kindly  
then ignoring the dog  
giving me the cold shoulder if I question  
what was wrong  
 
having made do with your venting as conversation  
when you have jokes for everyone else  
waiting my turn for a few minutes of the day  
it really hurts when this is spent in silence  
your eyes gazing off into the distance  
 
you didn't used to be that way even a month ago  
getting mad at me and bear because we feel it  
bear needs more of my attention now  
because you withdrew yours  
 
he is saddened with me  
you use him as an escape key  
nowadays, when you're outside  
now when we're in the room you no longer have time  
to play fetch with him  
 
a creature of habit the both of us  
he looks at me with his sad eyes asking why  
I try to make him secure while you break me down  
and utter I'm okay bear against what he senses  
 
because of circumstances out of my control  
you treat me cold and expect I have no choice  
but to live with it  
because you seem to enjoy my hurt  
I had you at a disadvantage  
before but I never lord it over you  
 
you are cruel when you drink pushing me away  
while pulling me towards you  
I break under the weight of you  
 
you're supposed to protect me but you're the one  
standing on top of me,  
until I break under the pressure  
and hurt, forgetting things