deepundergroundpoetry.com

I Hate Myself

I hate myself
For everything I am and everything I stand for
There is nothing about me that will get me anywhere I want to be in my pitiful, sad, and sorry excuse for a life
I hate myself
For all the times I've fallen in love
For all the times I've shown kindness
For being a virgin
For being scared
For being a pathetic excuse for a human being
I hate myself
For being a nice guy
For showing respect and chivalry towards women
For not being who the world wants me to be
For spending hour upon hour thinking about one person
For trying so fucking hard to make a difference in her life
For being there for her every fucking time
Because all it has done is get me friend-zoned
I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!
For not wanting pussy 24/7
For not being a selfish, piece of shit asshole
For not being confident enough
For not being good enough
For not being what she wants
I FUCKING HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am a worthless piece of shit that roams this earth
I am a fucking doormat
Taken for granted
Only needed for reassurance and then thrown away
I FUCKING HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!
For worrying too much
For caring too much
For having a fucking heart for GOD'S SAKE!!!!!!!
I MEAN HOLY SHIT!!!! I AM SORRY THAT I ACTUALLY FUCKING CARE!!!!!!
YES!!!! OF COURSE!!!! I LIED ABOUT HAVING SEX BEFORE!!!!! I AM FUCKING VIRGIN!!! DUHH!!!!!!!!!
JUST LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM AN UGLY BEAST!!!!!!!
AN UGLY PIECE OF SHIT THAT NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT!!!!!!!
I FUCKING HATE MYSELF!!!!!!
...........................
...........................
Sometimes, the thought of suicide fulfills me.
Keeps me sane.
Makes me happy.
Heals the pain.
............................
I can write and write all I want but my problems won't be fixed.
I'm still never gonna be good enough for her.
I'm still never gonna be good enough for anyone.
And most importantly, I'm never gonna be good enough for........myself

I.........HATE..........MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!
HE MUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Written by lonerdarkhorse17 (Kyle Ashenfelder)
Published
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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