deepundergroundpoetry.com
Turned My Back
Turned my back on
The world that turned its back on me
With a dagger orbiting
My central sunlight.
Trustworthy blade,
Blood brotherly handshake,
Swapping lifelines,
Hand and spine.
The gleaming reflection,
Sharpened edge,
Cuts through what
Blinds and binds.
The audacity to
Earthen cosmos
Understand a star and
Grab ahold of chance.
In my head,
Gravity weighs,
Inward befallen,
To betray,
Consumed serpentine,
No light escapes
A black hole
To see the matter.
The spell aligns,
Insanity or nothing,
The chosen pattern,
This time of me.
Vicarious hypocrisy,
Predator and victim,
An imprisoned fate to serve,
The irony of justice
The world that turned its back on me
With a dagger orbiting
My central sunlight.
Trustworthy blade,
Blood brotherly handshake,
Swapping lifelines,
Hand and spine.
The gleaming reflection,
Sharpened edge,
Cuts through what
Blinds and binds.
The audacity to
Earthen cosmos
Understand a star and
Grab ahold of chance.
In my head,
Gravity weighs,
Inward befallen,
To betray,
Consumed serpentine,
No light escapes
A black hole
To see the matter.
The spell aligns,
Insanity or nothing,
The chosen pattern,
This time of me.
Vicarious hypocrisy,
Predator and victim,
An imprisoned fate to serve,
The irony of justice
Published 1st Apr 2024
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 1
comments 6
reads 167
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
1st Apr 2024 10:37am
This is great! No trust from them, no trust in you. Your poem flows really well and has a rhythm that makes it a pleasant read.
Yeah, this is really just venting some frustration. The mood I was in allowed me to capture such an atmosphere. Betrayal is a huge part of life, and a lot of how you deal with it will make up who you are. This poem here just shows that it can lead to extreme hatred and the like, or self-contradicting behavior. Also, you don't have to trust just because you forgive.
1st Apr 2024 10:50am
This was really good. I really love " the audacity to Earthen
cosmos, understand a star, grab hold of a chance". That really
sticks with me. This did not need to rhyme, it was gripping.
You are always trying a new style and it always succeeds!
cosmos, understand a star, grab hold of a chance". That really
sticks with me. This did not need to rhyme, it was gripping.
You are always trying a new style and it always succeeds!
1st Apr 2024 10:53am
Wow, I'm glad you like this. Your continual support is certainly encouraging to me. This is just a concept that I went with in a moment of frustration, and it really "set the stage" for such angles of perception to come to life. Anyway, thanks for checking it out.
1st Apr 2024 11:13am
I agree your frustration took on very creative angles of perception.
Your work challenges me to THINK. That too is a gift.
I only wish I was a better at commenting, to give you even half the support you have
given me. You have given me a lot of confidence! Seriously I appreciate it so much.
Take care my friend.
Your work challenges me to THINK. That too is a gift.
I only wish I was a better at commenting, to give you even half the support you have
given me. You have given me a lot of confidence! Seriously I appreciate it so much.
Take care my friend.
1st Apr 2024 12:20pm
It's been a pleasure to share in critique and artistry with you. Even just offering different perspectives, which you do a lot, kind of gives me inspiration. Anyway, I don't mean to flatter myself as some bigwig that knows everything about writing. I guess my "advice" just comes from experience, though I do get a bit pretentious, ha-ha. Again, I'm glad we can both grow as writers in support of each other.
