Callie's Journal Entry After Losing Her Virginity

April 19, 2011  
   
The world feels different. How can one moment change everything? A few hours ago, I did something with my boyfriend I never thought I would do so soon. There was something pulling us together that couldn’t be stopped. Daniel’s touch lit a fire inside me and doubts disappeared. In his arms, I felt weightless, lost in a moment that seemed endless.  
   
First we danced and laughed with our friends at the house party like any other date. Then we went upstairs. It was a big house. I was scared. I’d heard the first time was always a disaster, but it wasn’t. While it was happening, I remember thinking what if I'm not good enough? What if I’m trying too hard or do it wrong and scare him away? What if this changes everything?  
   
Then I realized it was happening. It was awkward but nothing would stop us. Daniel pressed against me too low at first and I whispered, “Higher.” Realizing where he was pressing, I almost laughed but didn’t. I took him in my fingers and led him to me. The moment he pressed inside, I caught my breath.    
   
I spread my legs wider and didn’t feel embarrassed at all. It was like we were the only two people in the whole world. My fears fell away and I felt like I belonged there. I started breathing again and he began to do it. I felt dizzy. It was happening. I was fucking Daniel at my friend’s house.    
   
When I got home, mom asked if we had a good time at the dance. I said, “Yes. He’s a nice boy.” I don’t think she saw any difference in me but I am different. I’ll never be the same. How can something so scary be so wonderful. I don’t know what I’ll feel tomorrow, but tonight was good.