chasing a mirage

   
   
   
      
        infatuation; before and after the aggravation-chasing a figment of one's imagination-one's never graduated from masturbation....  
   
        damn an upcoming "birthday"-there's no actual "celebration"....and what exactly would I be celebrating?    
   
      absence of an exploration of fascination;  
    just some cola & whisky liquidation....and I don't want a godamn cake, shit....  
   
     goddammit. I'm sexually constipated....  
   
  I want my balls cuffed, dick stroked, and sucked as if i were in a life or death situation....    
   
         but instead-i'm burnt out from chasing a mirage....