...about that night

   
   
   
we all need a friend  
at times  
or  
at times we are    
the friend someone    
needs  
   
the latter was true  
in this case  
   
I used to go to a bar  
called Oscar's back    
in the day  
   
not so much to drink  
but because the music    
was banging  ( if you  
loved 90's grunge and    
alt, then you know what  
I mean)  
   
it started as a beautiful    
tie dye and hair wrap    
summer evening  
   
but that changed    
quickly  
   
as soon as I walked    
through the door I  
was greeted with,  
   
"YOU GOTTA GET HIM  
 OUT OF HERE! HE'S ALL  
 FUCKED UP! IT'S BAD, MAN!  
 IT'S REALLY BAD!"  
   
     ( I knew that he had a recent    
       breakup and now I guess he    
       wanted to teach her a lesson    
       by hammering himself into an  
       alcohol induced coma---yeah,  
       that'll teach her)  
   
his head was lying sideways    
on the bar top  
   
I asked him, " what's all the    
grindage, dude?"  
   
he answered, " gebosh nutesh  
flam brigouh!"  
   
translated from the drunk  
means- I'm too fucked    
up to make any sense    
right now...  
   
with some help we    
managed to load  
my brokenhearted  
friend into my  
vehicle    
.  
I told him," if you think    
you're going to hurl,  
let me know and I'll    
pull over."  
   
he blathered,  Nosh  
canna urp."  
or  
translated from the  
drunk,  
   
"okay."  
   
and off we went with  
me praying,  
   
"pleaseGoddon'tlet  
 himbarfinmycarplea  
 seGoddontlethimbar  
 finmycarpleaseGod  
 dontlethimbarfinmy  
 car  
   
half way home, he  
yells, NOGOISH! PINK  
SWLARPING!  
 
which translated from  
the drunk means,  
 
"STOP! IM THINK IM  
 GOING TO THROW UP!"  
   
I pull over in a parking    
lot by the side of a  
park  
   
get out and...  
   
see flashing red lights  
pull up behind us  
   
  (I guess no one was supposed    
   to be in the park after sun-  
   down)  
   
"LET SEE YOUR DRIVERS    
 LICENSE AND REGISTRATION,    
 AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING    
 IN THE PARK AT THIS TIME  
 OF NIGHT?"  
   
I tried to explain to the    
officer what was going  
on...  
   
that i was a good samaritan    
doing a good deed  
   
he looked at me incredulous,  
sternly    
   
at that moment my friend  
threw open the car door,  
leaned out and threw up  
the contents of the seven  
seas all over the pavement    
   
the officer looked at him  
   
then looked at me  
   
looked back at him    
(still puking)  
   
and back at me again  
   
and with a blank expression    
said,  
   
"HAVE A GOOD NIGHT  
 AND STAY SAFE."  
   
then turned and walked  
back to his squad car  
   
I head him say to the  
dispatcher,  
   
"nope. everything is good  
 here."  
   
then drive off into his  
uniformed official night    
   
I climbed back into my  
car, grabbed my friend  
by the back of his collar,  
pulled him in and up,  
straighten his legs out  
   
started the engine    
   
and drove off into the  
dark vomited stained  
firmament