COLD  DEAD  EMPTY SHEETS     (11-29-1991; Jamaica Beach, Galveston Island, Texas)

     
no bed of sleep      
for me tonight      
instead it seems    
and looks like      
it s gonna be    
off to these      
cold  dead  empty
sheets    
for me tonight    
here yet again    
where i ll only      
struggle to      
lag off  away      
so restlessly into      
night s sad void s      
timeless deep      
stillness s      
bottomless well      
until i ll slowly        
sink and fade      
intermittently away      
though much too briefly        
surrendering back      
into the relentless      
diminishing heat      
and prolonged  insufferable      
innermost coldness      
of my once again      
oh so empty      
oh so lonesome  
aloneness  
as i continue lying here  
still alone  
as usual  
as always  
night after night  
year after year  
again and again  
all alone  
feeling so lonesome  
lost and lonely  
in all my futile longing  
here beneath  
these cold  dead  
empty sheets  
possibly forever  
or so it much too often  
feels and seems to me
more and more
these days
and nights
which leaves me  
sadly here now
just as often  
to ponder and wonder  
whether and if
this could actually be
or become
my one and only
manifested
true  predestined fate
this time around
or not