Without A Trace

The thoughts racing through my head
Telling me what needs to be done
Listen to every word that's said
Silently laughing as I load my gun
And I know it's finally time
This confusion no longer can i take
If suicide is my life's crime
Then I confess my love my mistake  
Slowly as my dreams all faded
And I relive every memory
Above me this dark cloud shaded
Crying rain my eternal misery
And only better days lie ahead
How could they be any worse
Twisted fantasies of me now dead
Anything to escape this blackened curse
This life I live all complicated
And the secrets in my mind  
The games being played I hate it
The answers soon you'll find
In my heart numbness I feel
As I analyze these choices
If I was dead would it be real
Or just more haunting voices
Telling me I shouldn't live
That I'm a waste of time and space
The life I lived I cannot forgive  
as I disappear without a trace