accepting the gift despite the pain

 
he gave me 2 years of heaven
in ways I can barely explain
my mind runs in overdrive
...all of the time...
it's exhausting & nobody on the outside can see why
but he held me in check
a calm in my storm grounding me
his voice & his touch silencing the noise in my head
though he held the reins
he set me free
making space for me to focus on feeling
lighting fires in my veins
writhing like a wild thing uninhibited in his hands
like a key in a lock...
...click...
...he opened me up
becoming my savior & captor simultaneously
developing a deep intimacy
sparking easy conversations
because we asked questions if we didn't understand
and my mind became a stream
flowing unimpeded
no rocks causing rapids
no undertow dragging me under
of course it wasn't perfect
nothing in life ever is
eventually it ran its course & came to an end
but when it was good it was everything