Anxiety

I didn’t know anxiety was not just in me . I worry all day at school the one at the back of the class . It’s upstairs in my mum’s room where she hides to forget to stop regret as the bills pile up on the sideboard which have been opened . I imagine she’s up there under her duvet looking for the spark to jumpstart her life again . I know it’s on trains crushed in between bodies rushing to their nine to five chasing the same  It’s in the old man’s eyes of our neighbour his shoulders are much more hunched since he lost his Maggie forty fives years it’s a hell of a long time . I see the aftermath the pain of trying to hold on and let go how you meant to find your balance let alone get a bump start . Anxiety it seems to befriend you amidst challenges and changes when you feel you’re most afraid . It’s an imposter it’s not a friend it makes you unable to see anything but the dark when all you want to see a sign that says in bright twinkling sparkles it’s all going to be alright for me and all alike .