deepundergroundpoetry.com
Echo Lake
Moonlight on fresh snow
Crack of the shifting lake ice
Eerily echoes
Crack of the shifting lake ice
Eerily echoes
Published 16th Dec 2023
Author's Note
I also posted this to the December Haiku pond thread. Hope it is not a problem double posting. I like all my posts to appear in my submission list. Not quite sure if this qualifies as a haiku- feedback appreciated.
Echo lake is a real lake- appropriately named. Out in the woods at night it is a bit frightening to hear the echoes of ice cracking on the lake
Echo lake is a real lake- appropriately named. Out in the woods at night it is a bit frightening to hear the echoes of ice cracking on the lake
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likes 5
reading list entries 1
comments 7
reads 171
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
16th Dec 2023 6:25pm
16th Dec 2023 6:43pm
17th Dec 2023 6:08am
Dear T,
I enjoyed the imagery of this haiku. While I wouldn’t call myself a critic or a poet, nor do I play either on tv, what I do recall from 7th grade English class haiku has a 5-7-5 syllable pattern and are of subjects on nature. I think you nailed it😊
H🌷
I enjoyed the imagery of this haiku. While I wouldn’t call myself a critic or a poet, nor do I play either on tv, what I do recall from 7th grade English class haiku has a 5-7-5 syllable pattern and are of subjects on nature. I think you nailed it😊
H🌷
17th Dec 2023 6:50am
Dear H,
Thank you for reading and commenting. I saw the theme in the Haiku pond and was inspired to try. I like the theme of ice. 🌹
Thank you for reading and commenting. I saw the theme in the Haiku pond and was inspired to try. I like the theme of ice. 🌹
18th Dec 2023 1:21am
I admire this. It's a challenge for me to scale down my writing but you
made it look easy. It's not. Wonderful:)
made it look easy. It's not. Wonderful:)
18th Dec 2023 1:32am
Dear A,
Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate that you like the work and think I make it seem easy😁. Actually it was quite challenging for me- this is why I like trying out some different styles. I struggle fitting my ideas into a rigid structure like Haiku. This took a lot of drafts and I feel that the outcome is a bit unexpected since it is a combination of my ideas merged with the constraints of the structure. I like the outcome - the surprise (to me)of the final result was certainly fun. I don’t yet think in Haiku.🌹
Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate that you like the work and think I make it seem easy😁. Actually it was quite challenging for me- this is why I like trying out some different styles. I struggle fitting my ideas into a rigid structure like Haiku. This took a lot of drafts and I feel that the outcome is a bit unexpected since it is a combination of my ideas merged with the constraints of the structure. I like the outcome - the surprise (to me)of the final result was certainly fun. I don’t yet think in Haiku.🌹
28th Dec 2023 2:06am
You did a fantastic job. And I really love the last line. You may not see it, but that line carries the whole thing along the (frozen) river, so to speak. It makes it much larger as a whole.
Great write. Be proud of it!
Great write. Be proud of it!
