deepundergroundpoetry.com
Where Shadows Play
Windows looking into the night
Framing skyline of city light
Shadows across a darkened room
Full moon watching the waiting groom.
Clothed in shadows blacks and greys
Coyly shrouded from his lustful gaze.
Crossing the room the shadows play
Across her skin a swirling display
Glimpses of flesh through shadow clothes
Remembrances of pleasures her body bestows
Raising a hand, a shadow falls
Playing over skin, its path enthrals
Shadow caresses her mind can feel
His distant touch made corporeal
Another step across the room
Forgotten promises will be their doom
But tonight, away from hard truths of day
They will revel where the shadows play
Framing skyline of city light
Shadows across a darkened room
Full moon watching the waiting groom.
Clothed in shadows blacks and greys
Coyly shrouded from his lustful gaze.
Crossing the room the shadows play
Across her skin a swirling display
Glimpses of flesh through shadow clothes
Remembrances of pleasures her body bestows
Raising a hand, a shadow falls
Playing over skin, its path enthrals
Shadow caresses her mind can feel
His distant touch made corporeal
Another step across the room
Forgotten promises will be their doom
But tonight, away from hard truths of day
They will revel where the shadows play
Published 8th Dec 2023
Author's Note
A fictional scenario using the title as a prompt. The title comes from one of Mary’s poems- thank you for sharing. I don’t usually employ rhyming but I like the cadence and flow it gives to a piece- may try more rhyming or rhythmic styles. Hope you enjoy 🌹
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likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 6
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
I certainly enjoyed the rhyme. Reads on face of it like a couple honeymooning on wedding night, lights coyly off, as the "waiting groom" gets to see his bride unveiled for his hands and eyes.
Then in verse three there seems hint she is not inexperienced, she has done this before and that there are past relationships with others (like failed previous marriage) in either's background.(the "forgotten promises").
Then in verse three there seems hint she is not inexperienced, she has done this before and that there are past relationships with others (like failed previous marriage) in either's background.(the "forgotten promises").
8th Dec 2023 3:08pm
Dear S,
Thank you for reading. I tried to leave the ending ambiguous and not clearly define the relationship so the reader might consider a variety of relationships between the characters.
Thank you for reading. I tried to leave the ending ambiguous and not clearly define the relationship so the reader might consider a variety of relationships between the characters.
9th Dec 2023 3:21am
The first line is incredibly clever, actually. It immediately pulls the reader in. And the rest is fluid, well structured. You aren't lacking at all in the rhyming poem department. No way.
So well done. Bravo.
So well done. Bravo.
9th Dec 2023 4:26am
Dear S,
Thank you- I appreciate your comment on the first line. I worked on this for a while- initially a much more detailed narrative more grammatical structure and precision. I started taking out words and leaving the bare bones of the idea - I realized I liked the result too. 🌹
Thank you- I appreciate your comment on the first line. I worked on this for a while- initially a much more detailed narrative more grammatical structure and precision. I started taking out words and leaving the bare bones of the idea - I realized I liked the result too. 🌹
11th Dec 2023 9:36am
For me personally, being a lover of all things dark n gothic, this gave me a vision of a man betrothed to the restless spirit of a fallen bride who never made it to her wedding day, yet refused the grave to fulfil her romantic commitment to the groom.
She may be gone by day, yet returnes each night dressed in veils of shadows to seduce her devoted lover.
Iv probably misinterpreted your work entirely but found it to be a tidy piece. Well done.
She may be gone by day, yet returnes each night dressed in veils of shadows to seduce her devoted lover.
Iv probably misinterpreted your work entirely but found it to be a tidy piece. Well done.
11th Dec 2023 3:11pm
Dear L,
I tried to leave elements ambiguous. Your interpretation was not what I envisioned but a really cool interpretation. I like the idea of a ghostly lover- maybe this idea needs exploring ☠️
I tried to leave elements ambiguous. Your interpretation was not what I envisioned but a really cool interpretation. I like the idea of a ghostly lover- maybe this idea needs exploring ☠️
