Ha! Reminds me of something Morgan Freeman said once ( paraphrased ), People will notice when others distance themselves, but will never notice it was their actions that prompted the distance.
I've come to prefer the know-nothing philosophy....
“If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid with regard to external things. Don't wish to be thought to know anything; and even if you appear to be somebody important to others, distrust yourself. For, it is difficult to both keep your faculty of choice in a state conformable to nature, and at the same time acquire external things. But while you are careful about the one, you must of necessity neglect the other.” ― Epictetus
which, in my view, encourages the personal responsibility of which you speak.