How?

How do you recover from losing all of your family? Gone to Heaven. Only you now? One after the other. Too close to comprehend. Orphaned...parents gone... No siblings now...you have family, but no one to remember those early years that only they know. Your 1st Christmas? Your 4th Christmas? Your birthdays when you were 3, 4, 5 ,6? Those early vacations only your parents and siblings remember. Now they are all gone. How do you recover from losing a young one to suicide? One you tried to help? God forbid  because they were the 2nd young one you lost to the noose? Christ almighty please help. How do you reconcile your self? How do you live again? How do you keep up the facade for the ones you love now? The ones left in your life that didn't ask to be the last ones? The ones you would die for but don't know you see yourself leaving their life because you are weak? How does it end? How does it go on? The chaos is overwhelming. Even if it is in your own mind. How does it go on??? I believe love will find a way...